Thirty-Seven Weeks

I have had so many facts, advice, and tmi questions thrown at me ever since I've been pregnant, and I'm all for (most of) it! I probably could have gone without some word of advice's to be honest. But for the most part, a lot of it has been genuine and extremely helpful. It's actually funny to see moms on TikTok or Instagram Reels talk about their symptoms, thoughts about pregnancy, and annoying statements that they experience because they are so damn relatable! I am also still, and will always be, amazed at how much changes within the span of 9 months - Your body, your mind, and I'm not even kidding - Even your view of literal life! Every week that goes by, I'm like what?! I'm going to be a freaking MOM?!

I'm almost there. I'm heavy, I'm tired, and I am sick of people asking how I'm doing because the answer is always the same, generic, non-emotional answer - I'm doing good! (But if you really knew, you would know that there are days where I cry for no reason, I can't get up from the couch, my pelvic pain hurts so much that it feels like there's a bowling ball in between my legs, and I am no longer the same person you knew how ever months ago!)

So, let's get into it. If you really want to know how I've been doing - I'll share three things that have changed within my body, my mind, and my life!

B O D Y

At about 30 weeks, I thought that I was home free from swelling up. A lot of new moms that I knew said it was around their 30 week mark when they started to swell like crazy, and when I wasn't I was like "Hell yeah - I'm blessed!" but no, I was not in fact blessed - I was just late. I started to notice around 35 weeks that my ankles were no longer ankles. No malleoli in sight, just straight skin to my fat feet. On top of that, I was getting calf cramps like no other. It would happen at the most random times overnight. The smallest need to stretch my legs could trigger a full blown leg cramp, and both of my legs would prop up in pain. When I would try to reach for the cramp, I could literally feel the muscle spasm go up and down my leg. It has gotten so bad to the point where I'd cry and scream until the pain resided, and then my bottom half would feel numb for a few minutes until I could feel my feet again. I wish that upon no one... But it is, unfortunately, part of pregnancy.

It's not all bad though. It's quite an amazing feeling when you can really start feeling the kicks. During my second trimester, I thought that it was so cool to feel the flutters in my stomach because it's something just so unique to us. One of my friends asked me what it felt like, and I actually had a pretty difficult time explaining the feeling because it's nothing that I've ever felt before, and not everyone gets to experience. When I hit my third trimester and the kicks started to get stronger, that's when it became more of a reality to me. I'm like "Holy shit! I have something growing in me!" When he twists and turns, kicks, stretches - I could feel it all. When I'm trying to have a normal conversation, I can feel him doing freaking summersaults in there! To be honest, it hurts from time to time - But I think I'll miss it when it's gone.

Overall, my body has been doing amazing things. There are obviously the worst things that you see all over social media about pelvic pain, the pressure, the constant need to go pee, the cramps, swelling, loss of appetite, too much appetite, heartburn, and literally everything else. But besides that - My body is doing great! It's crazy to think that women are designed to do this. That our bodies adapt and change based off the need to carry a whole new human being into this world. We stretch in places we never thought could stretch, we go through tests after tests, we try to stay active, we take vitamins on vitamins to ensure adequate health for the both of us, and we continue to stay on routine. Some work until they pop. Some are at the gym doing their thing. Some need additional rest. We do what we need to do and it's incredible. Props to ALL women, pregnancy or not.

M I N D

I'll start off by saying that pregnancy brain is a real thing. You don't realize it until someone calls you out on it and then you're thinking back to random times of when you may have made a mistake at work, you forget about an event that had been in your calendar for months, you forget half way during a conversation of what you were saying, or you go into a drawer and find leftover food that should have been put into the fridge. That baby is taking all of that good stuff from you - So don't fret! It's just funny, is all!

I've always been pretty emotional but I found that I could go from one extreme to the next during pregnancy. I could probably cry on cue. Every small scene of someone crying on TV can set me off. I take a lot of what Ronnie says literally and it triggers me in a way it ever did before. I'm easily agitated by certain things and find that my feelings shift really fast. But not only that... I feel like I'm more at peace for some reason. Like things have been much more clear to me, and I'm not sure if that just ties into to my previous lifestyle of weekend benders compared to now being sober and the healthiest I've ever been since I was 14. But, I find that I am more in tune with myself, realizing when my energy is low or accepting solitude when it's needed. I'm listening to my body a lot more not only because I have to but as months go by, I realized how much I was neglecting myself from certain things. I eat when I'm hungry (which is funny because I never used to fuel my body. It was always just coffee and water all working hours). I take walks when I know I need to clear my head, I rest when I know my body is in overdrive. I noticed that I'm more connected, happier, and less depressed than I was a year ago. Whether that's because I know that I'll be bringing a new life into this world or that all I needed was a change, my mindset has shifted - And I'm grateful for that.

L I F E

Everyone warns us about how much our lives will change once we have the baby. How sleep deprived, chaotic, and different it'll be. The thing is that, so much has already changed for us leading up to this point. We already know there will be more to it, and we can only be as ready as we can possibly be as new parents. All the materials and safety procedures have been prepared and installed, our house completely flipped, even our dogs have smelled everything new that has been brought into this house; furniture, his clothes, and all of the supplies that can prepare them for the baby as well. Our weekends already look different than they were 9 months ago. We get home at a decent hour, we're in bed by 10pm and up at 7am, we've found comfort being together without the need to host or the need to be out doing something. We've reduced our circle of friends by focusing on those who have been supporting and checking in on us these past few months. And we really have taken a step forward to a future we both want for our family by staying consistent with our daily habits, doing the things we love to do; sewing, reading, writing, and being present with each other. We know that we won't have the same amount of time we do when the baby is here but we both agreed that we would adapt with him as we continue to do the things that we love to do. I know people will say we're over our heads and that just never happens, but we're willing to try and I think that's up to us how we want to live our lives - Right?

I think that you can only take so much advice when it comes to preparing yourself for parenthood. I've heard a lot of parents say that reading books won't help and that you just need to go with the flow, but what if books are the only thing that helps relieve your stress in preparing you for parenthood? People say "Just you wait" to scare us in the sense of what our lives will look like a few years down the road. But what if you want to raise your kid differently? People will tell you that you don't need this or that in preparation for a newborn but what if your baby does take it. They warn us that we won't be able to do all of the things we do now, we won't have time for ourselves, or we will feel more separated than we are together. But what if that's different for you? What if you can make it work? I say, go at your own pace and stick to your values and what is important to you.

Who the hell knows what it's going to look like for us in the next few months. I just know that we'll be as prepared as we can be! I hope all of you new moms can relate to this as well and find the same motivation by just taking it day by day and doing what you think is right for you and your family. If there was one piece of advice that I have taken to heart, it's this:

No one is ever really ready, but just know that your mother instincts will kick in. You won't notice it, but it'll happen, and it will change your life forever.

I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writing it. It's so fun to share my experiences thus far.

Wish me luck - I've only got 3 more weeks (or less!) Let's do this!

Until next time!

Jree